Zooko's Triangle says you can't build a name resolution system that's secure, human readable, and decentralised.

DNS is secure (in Zooko's terms - means you can be certain a domain only has one correct resolution) and human readable.

.onion is secure and decentralised.

Petnames (as in I2P) or /etc/hosts are human readable and decentralised.

Also any centralised secure system will quickly have all the names squatted if they are free. It's bad enough at current prices. For instance every dictionary word under .com is already taken. If they cost nothing it would be every pronounceable sequence of up to 12 letters.

Nothing is actually stopping you running "weird DNS" on your home network if you implement the DNS protocol towards clients. I suggest you get familiar with the program Unbound. It's very common for networks to use alternative DNS if only to address the devices on the network.

Also IPs weren't originally meant to be ephemeral. You can get an address block registered to you (v6 only of course, there's no more v4) for a pretty reasonable nominal fee.