Truly evidence that we’re living in the worst timeline — the Bulwer-Lytton has been one of the highlights of my year for as long as I can remember. My parents introduced me to it before I could read; I remember them laughing and crying as they tried to explain to four-year-old me why this one inscrutable sentence was the funniest thing on earth. I’ve looked forward to it ever since, though recently I’ve only checked in to read the dishonorable mentions and winners once every few years.

Knowing I’ll never again check and find a year’s crop of perfect sentences dims the light more than I would have expected. Sad times.