Every time I read stories about people trying to optimize their social lives, I get the distinct sense that it’s a zero sum game they (and necessarily we, as part of the same society) are all playing, not a positive sum one. Violating norms and taboos might be useful for the individual, but it seems like the sort of thing that’s likely to encourage a social immune reaction of some kind of another.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, I do think it’s possible to learn how make conversations more enjoyable for all parties for example, idk