"The crew just opened the doors to let a breeze in - very little health-and-safety culture here!"

That's a bit presumptuous...

In the UK I've never seen a train open its doors directly to the tracks. We also have lots of warning not to cross the tracks except by bridge or tunnel.

"Was a little strange seeing cables dripping down from the ceiling"

The whole text is full of these weird takes on the most banal things.