I thought it was a regular thing for Americans or anyone in the world to be able to make a Swiss account? Is that not the case? Or is it different if you live there?

If you are not a resident, don’t bother trying unless you plan to have 30M or more in the account.

If you are a resident, you can easily open a normal account in minutes… unless you are US, Russian or Belarus citizen.

No, most Swiss banks outside something like UBS will these days outright reject anyone with US reporting requirements.

("Private" banks for very wealthy are another thing, but a software engineer isn't their customer.)