Yes a lot of people compared it to exercise. But that's something I don't do either unless it's on my own terms.

I know it would be good for me to work out an hour per day but I don't. I just can't bring myself to it.

It's the same with eating, I'm obese but simply eating less just doesn't work.

I can only do exercise when I combine it with something else. Like exploring new trails in nature.

I just don't have discipline and it's not in my character to build it. It'll just end up a few weeks till I drop it again. And more importantly I wouldn't be happy being a disciplined person.

Mediation probably would bring me benefits but it's just too much friction to get to that point so I'll never get there. I've stopped feeling bad about not doing all those things and instead focusing on the things I can do well and that do work for me.

So the problem isn't with mediation, it's with me. But either way it's just out of reach and that's why it didn't work for me.

The point of programming being meditative is equally the point. It just happens to be a way people can get into that. It's something that works for them. It doesn't necessarily mean that more traditional mediation will suit them.

Personally if my job would change so much and I didn't like it I'd pivot to something else instead. Though that's admittedly not always easy.

I'm sorry those other things haven't worked for you and I can understand the struggle of giving up on pursuits like that. I was hoping to communicate through what I wrote that you don't need to do things the traditional or recommended way. If you like exploring trails then by all means just explore trails, you don't need to do it as a gateway to exercise or meditation, just do it because you enjoy it and if you get other benefits out of it then so much the better.