Buy a new laptop.

I didn’t get a work laptop when I was at a mega corp and the pay was absurdly good.

I ended up remote desktoping into a secured pc anyway.

Don’t put your personal stuff on the laptop for any reason. If money is a concern buy a laptop from Costco.

90 day return policy in case the first check bounces or something.

If the pay was absurdly good, I will gladly do whatever is needed. But it's not.

	▲	999900000999 12 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Ok. Your options are still. Show up on your first day with a laptop. Show up on your first day without a laptop. My suggestion stands. Odds are you can get your job done with a 500$ laptop if push comes to shove. Now of course you can show up without a laptop and get into a nasty argument about them needing to provide you equipment. You’d be right, but they’d have the option to fire you on the spot. Even if this isn’t technically legal, you don’t have much recourse. It’s up to you. Everyone else here is going to keep downvoting me, and not a single one of them will help you find a new job.