Brit here. I spent decades hearing about twinkies from US TV so I had to finally try one.

It was the blandest, most solid chunk of cake with a flavourless blob of sugar in the middle.

I more-or-less agree. And it's inexplicable why it's popular?

Describe a chicken nugget next, I bet people hate those too.

(For the record, a proper Twinkie would be fluffy, not a solid chunk.)

Twinkies haven't been good for decades, you need a time machine for the real experience.