That sounds like a tough realization to come to, and has been an opposite of my experiences in startups (as a non founder). Ive sought them out because the leadership cares so freaking much about what they are doing, and really genuinely wants to succeed. That can be intense, but at least you know they care. If you are early enough to have both equity and a solid chance at impacting the possibility of success you can have both mercenary and personal incentives aligned in a way that is impossible in a bigger company IMO.

I hope you give startups another go if that sounds good to you, and as you say, it sounds like you will be able to see the things you dont want at least. Good luck.