I noticed that with some people (and possibly most people), it's not even a matter of who's wrong or right, simply asking to justify or explain their claims may be perceived as an attack and enough to trigger an argument.

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palmotea 3 hours ago | parent | next [-]

> simply asking to justify or explain their claims may be perceived as an attack

I think that's because that often is a prelude to an attack.

I know someone who mainly asks for explanations or justifications when they're getting angry about something (and it's obvious). There's high chance the next thing that will happen is some kind of outburst (or quiet seething resentment). With them, the question "why did you do X?" almost never has any element of curiosity to it.

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staticman2 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

On the other hand on this web site at least I think people ask questions passive aggressively at times.

Instead of honestly saying "I think you are wrong because..." they passive aggressively pretends they are "just asking questions."

Of course on non controversial topics a question is likely to just be a question.

	▲	yodsanklai 3 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		There are certainly lines you don't want to cross if you want to avoid conflicts, and there are ways to ask questions nicely. Maybe it's a professional bias, but when you work in research or engineering, I think it's pretty normal to ask questions or push back on strong claims without proofs, without necessarily sounding like a jerk. I think I managed to upset people on several occasions as I was just genuinely trying to understand their opinion on some topics.
	▲	mrguyorama an hour ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		Or people who pick a nit and then when it turns out the nit they picked wasn't even a nit, they double down and pick an even smaller it and split ever smaller hairs because they just cannot function if they don't "Win" every discussion It's insane how reluctant some people are just to say "Oh maybe I was wrong or misunderstood"

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21asdffdsa12 4 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

The problem is conflict avoidance behavior. We are hardwired to prevent conflict with the in-group (family/clan) to prevent loss of life due to strife - at the same time that does not hold up for the out-group.