> I totally struggled to find the right frame of mind to explore any of this stuff without feeling defeated and bamboozled.

I found LM studio to be a nice starting point. Frindlier and more featureful than Ollama and not as intimidating as llama.cpp (though you will want to use that eventually)

LM Studio is also nice because of the way the interface explains things; parameters have explanations and hints. It has been designed by people who really care about making it understandable.

I tried Ollama but I've settled on Unsloth Studio generally; once things really settle down I'll just run the llama-server UI, which is pretty nice.

A friend is tinkering with LLMs for amusement on a 16GB Raspberry Pi 5, and when I explained that llama.cpp now had a typical web chat interface he was so happy — it's amazing what the "table stakes" are now.