My trusted CA doesn't have my private key, they only attest that my public key belongs to me.

Your many, many default-trusted CAs can mint new certs for the sites you visit.

Which would be easily detectable if the cert I'm using on my server didn't match the one that was being served publicly.

There's really no way this conspiracy theory works if "they" have a copy of every single private cert generated. Which would be impressive because I can generate one myself and get it trusted without ever sending it and would be easily able to detect a MITM attack.

Not to mention most sites are going to use pinned certs so any repeat visitors to a site will notice a cert change associated with a MITM.

This whole idea relies on the assumption that everyone is trusting third parties with their private certs. That is not at all required.

	▲	ceejayoz 2 days ago \| parent [-]
		> Which would be easily detectable if the cert I'm using on my server didn't match the one that was being served publicly. I'm not sure why your focus is so heavily on your server. Is that the only thing on the internet you care about? > Not to mention most sites are going to use pinned certs so any repeat visitors to a site will notice a cert change associated with a MITM. Most haven't even heard of pinned certs. https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3517745.3561439 "we find that 0.9% to 8% of Android apps and 2.5% to 11% of iOS apps use certificate pinning at run time"