Similar idea: don't go through life anonymously.

Go to your professor's office hours, learn the names of your neighbors, become a regular at the local sandwich shop and shoot the breeze with staff, ask the people you're waiting in line alongside if they have any good jokes.

Don't be fooled that social media and conspicuous consumption are the best paths to community.

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jasonpeacock 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

That all sounds exhausting (introvert here).

The last thing I want to do when out in public is be stuck talking with strangers.

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hk__2 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

As an introvert, one thing that works is that I repeatedly go to the same shops and restaurants so people know me and I know them, and we’re not strangers anymore.

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lukan 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

"is be stuck talking with strangers."

Then learn not just how to start, but also how to end a conversation. I hated having to do small talk with people - until I learned that I had not to. I now can share something interesting - and then go back to minding my buisness. (If the other person is deaf on their end - strong signals to end a conversation are looking away, turning the body away, opening up ones laptop ... (or put out the damn phone) or put on earphones)

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jagenabler2 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

The price of community is inconvenience

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forshaper 2 hours ago | parent [-]

The price of a strong community is extreme annoyance (and it's worth every bit of frustration)

	▲	em-bee 43 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		that's not a strong community, but an overbearing, suffocating one. but that behavior leads to disagreement or disunity. it's why i left germany/europe btw. a strong community stands by its members. it supports them. it doesn't annoy them.

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2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

[deleted]

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knorker 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

As a fellow introvert, I would recommend that you see it as taking medication. Or getting exercise.

You don't do it because you like it. You do it because if you don't, then you'll be worse off years later.

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jader201 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

> You do it because if you don't, then you'll be worse off years later.

This feels hyperbolic. While I would agree that community and remaining connected are very important to overall health, I don’t feel like making a habit of talking to strangers is a prerequisite.

	▲	lukan 2 hours ago \| parent [-]
		"I don’t feel like making a habit of talking to strangers is a prerequisite." But if you practise that skill, you will then also be able to pick up a conversation with people you do find interesting.

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xRyen 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

This is something I've definitely lived by for many years. Nearly all of my colleagues and friends don't believe me when I say I'm an introvert. I purposely put the effort in to make meaningful connections with anyone I can and it has paid off more times than I could ever count. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But in my mind, the alternative is worse. People are great. Get to know them.

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SoftTalker 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

You say this as if introversion is something to be "cured."

It's like telling a gay man that he just needs to try dating more women.

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It's not really a choice in the first place.

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jader201 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

> ask the people you're waiting in line alongside if they have any good jokes.

I know no one who tries striking up a conversation with strangers, and I feel like the majority of strangers would be annoyed/uncomfortable with this.

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aljgz 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

I feel the same.

Sometimes, I work against this and start conversations.

Rarely people are annoyed. Too often, they seem happy someone breaks their shell, they just don't want to be that person who takes the first step.

Every time I see a new person I still feel the same.

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bluGill 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Somehow everyone gets friends - which means at some point in life everyone did talk to a stranger.

	▲	jader201 41 minutes ago \| parent \| next [-]
		I feel like there are natural settings for making friends. E.g. - Frequenting the same restaurants/stores (HT earlier sibling comment) - Joining clubs/communities/churches - Parents of kids’ friends - Networking: Friends of family / family of friends / friends of friends - Workplace (obviously) I feel like this is how friendships/relationships happen more organically vs. the OP’s suggestion of talking to “someone waiting in line”.
	▲	em-bee 32 minutes ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		for me the key difference is who initiates the conversation. i never do, unless i have to. but i want to talk to people, so my approach is to put myself into situations where they want to talk to me. the next issue is that sometimes the conversation is boring. that's stressful, but i have more control here because i can try to change the topic. i already know that this person wants to talk, so now it's my turn to probe and find out if they want to talk about something that i find interesting. it helps to have a wide range of interests, and for me the main problem is meaningless smalltalk, but anything deeper that is of interest to the other person is ok again. i act like i am amateur anthropologist. tell me something about yourself...

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boothby 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

If you're going to strike up conversation with strangers, it's best if you make it easy for them. If you're asking for a joke, you're making it easy on yourself and setting a bar for them. I'm a jokester but I don't have a good repertoire of jokes on hand -- I respond to banter. So if you ask me if I have a joke, I often just sputter and throw out the last bad pun somebody shared with me.

Make a joke yourself, if you're feeling funny. But be warned... a stranger once asked me why I was going on a trip. I was visiting my dad who was presently in surgery for cancer that would go on to end his life. I was too emotional to answer with anything but the truth. I certainly wasn't going to respond well to humor.

	▲	SoftTalker 2 hours ago \| parent [-]
		> I was visiting my dad who was presently in surgery for cancer This is the risk of striking up conversations with strangers. You have no idea what their mood, concerns, or troubles might be. So please be prepared for a less-than-pleasant subject to talk about if you insist on intruding on someone else's thoughts.

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optikaluzion 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

This is great advice.

Although, the hardest part for me is the interaction with the neighbors, simply because it's not an easy relationship to sever if things go sideways. Still good to know the name of the crazy neighbor, I suppose.