I’ve strange news from the business world. That ability to talk to strangers and be conversational with various topics is actually making him a rather successful boss/business-person. Remember, not just talking, but the far better one is the ability to listen, and take genuine curiosity in the other person’s stories.

I learned, and am still learning, to start with very subtle conversations in contextual proximity to the person without shocking/surprising them. And then, I mostly try to listen more and try to guide them to talk more. You will be surprised at how many a lot are eager to talk to someone, if they are being listented to.

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wolvoleo 7 hours ago | parent | next [-]

I'm sure that's true but not everyone is cut out to be a "business-person". I certainly am not. Same with boss, I'm not a team player at all.

I don't mind small talk sometimes but there has to be some kind of common ground. For example with conservative family-first suit types I have nothing to talk about and it feels awkward to make conversation, but with the leather/mesh/blue hair alt/goth types I can talk for hors.

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goodmythical 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

>For example with conservative family-first suit types

"hey man, how're the kids?" "Is your wife recovering from [illness] you mentioned last week?" "man, have heard the music on the radio lately?" "what kind of music do you like?" "can I ask you a personal question, what was the hardest part of getting the success you have?" "did you know you wanted to be a boss/manager when you were a kid? No? Oh, you wanted to be an astronaut? Oh man, no way, have you seen the crazy stuff spacex is doing with re-useable rockets? We're getting so close to (relevant sci-fi from when he was a kid)"

You've just got to have an open mind, which you'd think you'd have given your conversational partner preferences.

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XorNot an hour ago | parent [-]

"SpaceX is a fraud. Its all about control. That's why in the future you'll be eating bugs because it's Greta Thunberg".

I am only partly paraphrasing actual conversation with my father in-law.

I cannot stress enough that what you think will work here doesn't: literally every topic will be pivoted towards a rant about which groups are destroying the future (all of them), or how it's all a conspiracy or how they are plotting against you.

You've invented a conversation you think works. I have lived a damn decade of the list of "safe" topics endlessly shrinking, and the punchline is same: 30 damn minutes of alternately being told some half remembered conspiracy theory from Facebook or asking for agreement that group are bad.

That scifi concept from when they were kid? Well they are lying about that for money of course.

It is exhausting to deal with over and over again.

	▲	SoftTalker 7 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		It's equally tiring hearing about how every problem in society is a result of capitalism and how conservatives are all facists and are scheming for a way to bring back concentration camps and want to deport everyone who doesn't have three generations of native-born ancestors. There are fringe kooks at all edges of the spectrum and they are all tiring and boring. But most guys on the train wearing a suit are just normal people who have to dress like that because their work requires it.

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psp99 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Assuming you have nothing in common with someone because of how they dress is just prejudice with better aesthetics :/

The suit guy probably has more interesting stories than you'd expect if you gave him thirty seconds.

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wolvoleo 2 hours ago | parent [-]

If someone wears a suit they have a reason for it, it's not something people do because they like the feel of it. Because they're really restrictive, expensive and feel horrible. They do it to impress others or to fit in in business. Or when they're trying to sell something.

I'm more comfortable among other outliers.

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goodmythical 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

You think the green haired folks are doing it because bleaching and dyeing their hair is just super duper fun? They're doing it for the same reasons: attention, approval, to fit in with their peers, trying to sell their identity to their peers.

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derektank an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

If your suits feel bad you’re probably not wearing the right suits. They are expensive though, that’s definitely true, so it does reveal some of their preferences.

	▲	tennfown an hour ago \| parent [-]
		How much money do I need to get a suit that’s not miserable in 90f+ humid heat where even stepping outside in shorts and a t-shirt has you sweating after a few minutes?

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dbvn 4 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

> I'm not a team player at all

could ya try?

	▲	wolvoleo 3 hours ago \| parent [-]
		No. I don't want to change who I am.

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senordevnyc an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

It’s legit funny who you’re responding to with this exhortation on how to be a successful boss / business-person.