The article is the "Chad Tom Bombdadil" meme from reddit, but somehow watered down to multiple pages of text.

>Barges into the narrative.

>Sings a song about how he's older than the world.

>Puts on and takes off the Ring with no effect.

>Refuses to elaborate.

>Leaves.

To the author's credit, there's a disclosure that the article is a teaser for deep dive for paid-subscribers only. That's probably why it's light on details.