I'm ok with them. It's all the stuff I'm weak on: pitching, making eye-contact, telling convincing stories, and engaging audience. I suck at this.

Making people feel my pain or communicating effectively quickly I'm total garbage at.

Hackathons are now only this. They have turned into an exercise that highlights my core weaknesses and that's why 25 years into my career I'm going to them almost every weekend.

This is the stuff I really need to get better at and finally, I am. Slowly but also, provably.

Also, this problem is unique: I call it "the trailhead". You get deep into the problem (the trail) and forget what it looked like at the trailhead and thus fail to compel the product because you spend your time on the wrong level of details and the wrong aspects.

That's why you can pitch something not yours better then your own stuff.

Ah I hear that. Do you think it's more like a self confidence problem? Not to attack or bring you down in any way, just wondering from a self diagnostic and awareness perspective.

I feel your way some times too, and when I reframe it and share with others from a place of interest and passion and let go of performance & anxiety, I usually don't come across as total garbage.