The fact PHP finally has the features of other mature languages is just table stakes I guess?

IMO the article failed articulating what is PHP's unique selling point.

The argument seems to be that they think LLMs made the implementation languages equal or irrelevant, therefore PHP is as good as any of them now. The flip side of this argument is that PHP is not any more compelling than it was before, it's just adequate now that so many deficiencies have been addressed.