on your drive you could:

a) listen to a useless podcast of two people blathering on about nothing.

b) come up with an idea, and have a coding agent start implementing it; maybe go back and forth on how to improve it.

seems like b is a better use of time.

or c) just stare into the void and let your thoughts consume you; this is my favorite, I don't like listening to stuff when I drive.

The author says he has two kids, which would likely constrain what he is able to accomplish in his free time.

Children are financially dependent on the parents to provide for them. There's not really much way around that. It makes sense that if you can do more things within the time that is left that people will try to figure out how to cram those things in. What we would have resigned to give up in the past now seems possible to attain with enough AI credits and tools.

I do know a lot of people who love to talk. I don't think it's a character flaw. It's certainly not what I want, and I would die if I had to talk all day, but it's just the way they prefer to communicate. Same way that some people are introverts and some are extroverts, some people like reading paper books and some people like audiobooks.

Excrementalist Philosophy

I have not very well treated AuADHD and being alone with my thoughts very long is generally not very productive, At least Coding LLMs have helped me get things I wouldn't of had the attention span to make in the past come to life. and a good bit of vibe coding is just yelling at the LLM that what its doing sounds good on paper so keep going, please do the needful, make no mistakes :V

> I wonder if these people just need to talk.

No. I need to create. That energizes me, and I have far too little time for it.

There is a subtle "misery loves company" at play even in one's own trusted circles. Criticizing someone for working too much tip-toes into that realm. It can be well intentioned: everything in moderation, life is about more than work.

But also it can be alienating and dismissive. I have the habit of working every single day. Weekends, holidays, on vacation. Over the years more than one roommate and family member would eventually call me on it. I felt judged. I took it harder than they intended.

I think to them it was a sacrifice. My work ethic was a cost. I could have been out with friends, on the beach takin in the sun. But instead I felt it necessary to toil away toward some Capitalistic superficial goal.

But it's not a toiling cost to me. It's a healthy habit in the way that a morning workout is a healthy habit. It's lucky that enjoying one's work can also "pay off" in the traditional sense. I think that's the key: only you know why you're working. If it's toil toward some Capitalistic superficial goal, just make sure you're aware of your tradeoff.

If it's your morning coffee, I see you buddy! Enjoy your day.

> In other words, to people reading questioning if they're working too much: it's okay to work hard as long as you're doing it for the right reasons.

I personally feel that working reasonable hours even when junior is just as productive for learning, etc. The only thing I learned from being a workaholic is, to not be a workaholic.

> I was a workaholic from 18-26. 12+ hour days for months/years on end. It absolutely was not healthy. Toxic is not an inaccurate label. But I don't regret it. Those years are the foundation of the career I have in my 30's.

I'm glad this worked out for you

As a small counter anecdote I guess, I was this person in my 20s too. I arranged my whole life around work, constantly trying to get that next rung. Then I burned out, quit my job, moved to a new city and was unemployed for a year. My career has been pretty decent since then, but it almost had nothing to do with the hard work in my 20s. It's just that where I was working before didn't reward the hard work and where I am now rewards the work I do even though I don't work nearly as hard as I used to

Anyways. All I'm really saying is if you're going to work yourself to the bone trying to get ahead, make sure to take a breath once in a while and look around. Check in with yourself to ensure that the hard work is actually paying off, building the life you want. Otherwise it's just trading your youth and getting nothing in return

I learned a lot during those years too, and in some ways had to learn those things no matter what role or opportunity I chose.

I received some advice to simply add 15 minute of additional "work" a week, and not any more until I could handle it to my baseline... and then be sure to add 15 minutes of "balance" a week as well. Where my work days would go long, I found I was able to tie in habits to go for a walk, eat, etc. This did let me stretch quite far for a longer time, and burn out was a much lower risk.

How efficiently or effectively I learned those lessons could be debatable, but putting in sheer hours on learning and learning to apply things has compounded in some areas very strongly.

At the same time it must be acknowledged that doing this in a way that is not balanced can naturally lead to under development in other areas and it's worth trying to stay mindful of.

Hard work isn't a bad thing, it's the gap of not learning, not improving, not reflecting. There's no shortcut to putting in the work or learning the learnings.

> take meetings while driving as well, though I stopped because it was perceived poorly by others.

The lack of self awareness here is astounding. You’re in control of a two ton bullet, please concentrate on the road. Killing somebody because you’re not paying full attention is not a good look.

It’s not useless though. It allows you to engage your default mode network, which is otherwise insanely suppressed in the barrage of constant stimulation that is modern life.

I agree with this sentiment. So much of human discourse sort of assumes that people are consistent day to day, even hour to hour. It just ain't so!

> In my experience the driving-behavior part of my brain can run virtually autonomously

It can, but I've heard quite plausible claims in the past [1] that you shouldn't let it - because that's one of the things that kills motorcyclists. Your autopilot brain is looking out for other cars quite effectively - but a motorcycle isn't a car, and can slip through un-noticed if you're mind is engaged elsewhere.

[1] Citation needed, but lacking I'm afraid!

I find there's an asymmetry between listening and speaking. It's fine for someone else to talk about their week, but don't ask me (driving) to do any deep descriptions about my own.

Being a hammock-deployed engineer is really the career goal.

How important is it really if you can't remember it when you get home?