First, get a kazoo, chalk, 5 live chickens, and a sharp knife.

Use the chalk to draw a numbered grid on the sidewalk; 10 should be fine.

Divide the resumes into 10 groups.

Cut the head off a chicken and see which number it wanders into. Repeat until you are down to one resume.

Done and far more efficient than all the current methods.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Khvtqr-BxY

I’d actually respect recruiters doing this more than just piping their inbox to /dev/null

I should note, mostly we have screened, and then paid them to come work with us for 3 to 4 hours on a real piece of code.