I thought this was how everyone worked.

I wish it were :)

This is the right way to do it. Whether using trunk-based development, git-flow, etc -- you're controlling the flow of merges in a particular direction.

However, I think the "larger planning issue" is harder to easily avoid when you have more devs, more changes, or the AI-boosted output we have today. If feature B requires feature A, and feature A isn't up-to-date with main, I could rebase feature A to main, then feature B to feature A. When feature A is merged and we're ready to PR feature B, I can rebase to main again then make my PR.

That sounds like a lot of work. If you rebase A on main then B on main, you end up having to resolve A's conflicts on main twice. But if you stick with merge commits, A's conflicts are handled once in the merge from main.