But they’ve got you. Nobody uses Microsoft office turdware unless they’re locked in and have to.

You lose access to it. You’re cooked.

If you’re cooked because of Microsoft’s willful destruction of property, that just means it’s not a small claim anymore.

I actually have a retiree in mind to whom I’ll have to recommend LibreOffice https://libreoffice.org

You’re right, I’m sure nobody’s made any kind of mass activation scripts that you could find online and get a better experience than paying customers.