I’ve been [stock market phrase] on machine learning since I dropped out of my graduate degree at [Ivy League] to distance myself from the Logic AI Winter. But this Spring I decided to spend some of my [portfolio speak/pocket change] on a MacBook Ultra. Okay okay, I felt it, I definitely felt the human-machine synergies. We’re out of the Winter, boys. That’s what I thought two weeks ago. Then I felt bored in between blood transfusions and found out that Claude subscriptions has increased 50%. Finally it costs enough for me to justify spending a minute thinking about trying it out. Then I didn’t try it out. It tried me out. My hairs were standing on end. My hands were shaking. Eventually I couldn’t even type, I was so ramped up on cortisol. I had to switch to voice commands. Mr. Claude took me through 8, eight, bespoke dashboard and report systems. Animated. Graphs shooting up. Plugged right into my business ape ee eyes I think. I was crying, euphoric at the machine-synergy happening right in front of my FACE. RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THEN. Then my nurse said that I passed out. I swear that I didn’t. I was totally lucid, but in another world. I was inside the machine. Inside DOS, the machine brain stem. A business man approached me. The most handsome board member kind of apparition that I have seen. And he was built something different. Square jaw, absolute massive build. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger. But like he knew business through and through. Not that he spent hours in the gym or nonsense like that. Like he had found a body surrogate technology. And his nameplate? “Claude For Business” He winked. “Hey there, Fitzpatrick–Goldworth.” No one but my daddy has ever called me that. “Want to get started... stakeholder?” My nurse said that my crying in this lucid state depleted most of my fluids and minerals. Needless to say layoffs were announced the next day.