I'm fine with keeping most of my post-tax cash pile in cash equivalents. I don't think you understand investing if your only measuring stick is returns. You do sound like a finance bro though given you took time out of your day to trash talk someone for something they didn't even claim.

If your investment return is less than the rate of inflation, you are literally getting poorer. Sort of defeats the purpose of an investment. It isn't much better than literally keeping it in your mattress. Just because you don't understand that, doesn't make it not true. And software I wrote probably has managed or touched your money at some point.