Zero fiddling, but substantial financial outlay

Any somewhat-modern monitor with multiple outputs should be able to do this. DDC support has been around for a while

Yeah but this monitor also switches its internal USB hub to USB-C. Is that really standard behavior?

	▲	swiftcoder 3 hours ago \| parent [-]
		For monitors with DisplayPort over USB-C, yes. The most common machine on the other end of that cable tends to be a MacBook, and nobody wants to run 2x usb-c cables from their MacBook to their monitor.