Do you have to self host it?

I'm moderately decent at self hosting. I'm fairly confident in my backups and security.

But also, I am not a system backup nor security expert, and I don't want to become either.

The one last thing that I really want to leave to the experts is my secrets management.

I like Elestio for managing devops of self-hosting. I don't want to do backups, monitor and fork git repositories for updates, etc. It's non-trivial. My time is scarce.

However, I'm extremely reluctant to give my password database hosting to ANYONE. I feel like this is something I need to "own" myself. Perhaps on Coolify, Dokploy, or on a Raspberry Pi with regular backups hosted at my home or office. This is extra work that I'm not eager to do; and frankly, it goes against my philosophy of outsourcing "commodity" work to which I'm ill-equipped to add substantial value.

On the other hand, password managers are the most sensitive software I can imagine.

Lastly, Sharing passwords with my wife, coworkers, etc is genuinely very valuable. Either of us can update, maintain etc our shared set of passwords. Last I looked, Keepass and its ilk cannot replace that functionality

You don't need to be a system backup expert to take backups, and with that attitude you will never become a system backup novice either. There is no gaurentee paid services will keep your data available either. One company lost my data and I was very glad to have backups.