I miss this awful habit so much.

Ever since quitting years ago I never really recovered. It’s like 35% of my mental focus and clarity evaporated.

All these moments when something had to be figured out suddenly things became easy if you only went for a smoke. Solutions became crystal clear obvious and effortless.

At a price.

Without it is always like a little bit of heavy fog is obscuring everything. That I know could be instantly lifted by this terrible drug.

I even remember my first time what a transcendental clarity it summoned. It was as if some thick veil fell from me in an instant. That’s very, very addicting and just useful.

Does overclocking your brain is worth the accelerated parts wear and tear? Well I made a decision that it isn’t. That I am intelligent and privileged enough to hopefully achieve the things I want and enjoy them for longer.

▲

Pay08 3 hours ago | parent [-]

Have you tried doing something similarly meditative instead?

	▲	juleiie an hour ago \| parent [-]
		I tried using matcha tea instead and it is kind of similar in that general direction but it doesn’t work quite the same mostly due to being constant effect for a few hours after a strong drink instead of a precise impulse. It was alright for a couple of projects but the day I drink matcha is firmly a “matcha day” with its characteristic of great energy at first and then feeling kind of shitty the rest of the day. It shapes your day too much. I am sure there are some substances that are similar to nicotine in mechanism and less harmful to the heart and blood thickening but they aren’t easy to get usually or aren’t well researched. Despite all nicotine is fairly well known and tested on huge population not to mention virtually unlimited access for any interested adult.