| Hard disagree. Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds. Let's hope things get better for anyone in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt. -- Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for. |
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| ▲ | pixel_popping an hour ago | parent | next [-] | | I disagree a bit somehow with the statement as it's a bit too generic, in my perspective, I do owe my parents care when they get older (I don't care about laws, talking about morality), I wouldn't send them in a home waiting for them to die, they'll live with me and my wife until they die, I understand that many might disagree with this, and it's fair if you had shit parents, but if you had parents that genuinely cared and done everything for you, I believe you want to also be fair for the sacrifice they've done and take care of them when they are too old to take care of themselves (or if 1 of them die, luckily I have both of my parents still!). Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no. | | |
| ▲ | tombert an hour ago | parent [-] | | You might feel an obligation, but you don't "owe" them anything. It's pedantic but there's a subtle difference. Doing something for someone because you're grateful for them is fine. I like my parents, I might take care of them when they get older, but I'm doing that because I like them. > Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no. Ironically, I think this is too generic. What if your parents were physically or sexually abusive? This isn't hypothetical, there are millions of children that live that reality. Are they "bad kids" because they don't want to help them when they're older? | | |
| ▲ | pixel_popping an hour ago | parent [-] | | Yeah I've put a specific "clause" for shitty parents, shitty parents deserve no support in the end (imo). My main argument is really that in the West, we are going too far away from the grateful mentality and it's scary and even absurd to see the number of parents that die alone (I'm talking about good parents), I find it sad and immoral in many scenarios. I use the word owe because it's a moral code thing, the same way as I owe my wife & children lifetime promises and support (but not obligated right?), it's not something really negotiable in my head and I don't really intend to change it. I vow the same thing for my own children and I hope I'll do genuinely a good job, enough for them to feel that they owe me the support when I'm old. Think about the gift you do to a loving mother to let her die surrounded with her own kids, nothing is more important in life than this in the end, as you get older, no career or money matters, probably only family does (again, talking only about good parents, shitty ones aren't included in this kind of discussion) | | |
| ▲ | tombert an hour ago | parent [-] | | I think it's certainly fine to be grateful for your parents if you like them. I had pretty ok parents so if they need help as they get older I'll probably help where I can. I guess I just get a little annoyed that people act like you are supposed to. I didn't choose to be born, and as far as I am aware neither did the other eight billion on this planet. The parents were the ones who brought the kids into the world. The kids are their responsibility, not the other way around. |
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| ▲ | signatoremo an hour ago | parent | prev [-] | | Kids own their parents their very presence. Each person has their own situation so it isn't my place to give specific advice, but each and everyone should pause for a moment on this day, be thankful that they are alive, and consider to do the right thing that they wouldn't regret if they don't do it. Even if you wouldn't call your parents. | | |
| ▲ | rationalist an hour ago | parent | next [-] | | Do they really owe that? I think owing something should be contractual - they consent to owe something in a fair exchange. A person does not consent to being born. If someone treats you properly (raises you at least somewhat decently), you don't owe them anything, but you should feel an obligation to thank that person whether it's by saying thank you, or helping them later in their life when they need help. | |
| ▲ | tombert an hour ago | parent | prev [-] | | No one asked to be born. People are only born because their parents brought them into existence. |
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