| ▲ | lioeters 2 days ago |
| Solution against bullies: a bigger bully. |
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| ▲ | rvnx 2 days ago | parent | next [-] |
| Works really well, and doing nothing is exactly why western societies are fucked up. New generations do whatever they want and do not face any consequences. Have you seen how much of a shithole France became due to street criminality and teenagers attacking people ? |
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| ▲ | userbinator 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Many decades ago when I was still young, I was bullied and reported it to the authorities, but they didn't care beyond giving the usual empty "be nice and get along" verbiage. Ended up fighting the bully and gave him a few deep bleeding cuts with my nails. I got in trouble for it, but he never dared to touch me again. | | |
| ▲ | eastbound 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | That’s generally the solution for bullies. I wonder whether that is also the solution for victims, making them strong enough. | | |
| ▲ | 2000UltraDeluxe 2 hours ago | parent [-] | | There's no denying a broken nose and some lost teeth will make many bullies twice about trying again. Problem is it's often illegal or against the rules to do it since deliberately beating the crap out of a bully isn't self defence in the traditional sense. And in the cases where it doesn't work, the situation may escalate or the victim might end up being punished harder than the bully. |
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| ▲ | Arodex 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | >Have you seen how much of a shithole France became due to street criminality and teenagers attacking people ? Are you a time traveller from 1900? https://libreo.ch/revues/sjsca/20232/sjsca-29-2023/sans-foi-... Note that it was a time of widespread caning and death penalty... | | |
| ▲ | rvnx 2 days ago | parent [-] | | Not sure if I agree or disagree with you but that’s a really interesting article actually, so thanks for sharing! |
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| ▲ | hkpack 7 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | > Have you seen how much of a shithole France became No, how far away should I be to see that? | |
| ▲ | lava_pidgeon 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | Why are western countries fucked up? |
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| ▲ | reenorap 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| The best way to handle a bully is to fight them tooth and nail even if you're going to get beaten up or you get suspended from school. If you keep fighting them the bullying will stop, and you will also gain some self-esteem. |
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| ▲ | CM30 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| I'm no fan of caning or physical punishment for crimes, but isn't that how a lot of bullying ends? The victim snaps, the bully gets beaten up or injured in some way and the latter finds an easier target to go after? At the end of the day, a bully picks on those they perceive to not be a threat, whether that's a school bully using physical violence or a copyright/patent troll harassing individual creators and small companies. Being forced to go against someone with more resources or who can inflict serious damage against the aggressor is how a lot of bullies get shut down. |
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| ▲ | gramie 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I would suspect that the vast majority of bullying ends when the victim is able to escape from the bully -- by changing schools, etc. We hear about victims snapping and beating up their bullies because that makes a good story. How about victims who snap but then are beaten up (because the bullies are often bigger and more used to violence) even more? Probably much more common. | |
| ▲ | ergocoder 8 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | > The victim snaps, the bully gets beaten up The unspoken rule is that the victim must only do hand-combat. They cannot use weapon in any way. If the victim uses weapon to defend themselves, they will be in the wrong. Life is hard for victims. They are often bullied because they are weaker. And the only way out is to do hand-combat. |
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| ▲ | euroderf 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| So, a regulating force must necessarily be of the same nature ? |
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| ▲ | stubish 3 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | This is the last resort punishment, so no, not necessarily. I'm surprised the last resort punishment isn't expulsion though, like it is in most places. I guess education is a right that can't be taken away? | |
| ▲ | yetihehe 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | I would like to know your opinions on a better one, if you have one that doesn't require several sessions with a school psychologist (I had a school psychologist at my school and she didn't do anything meaningful about bullying). | | |
| ▲ | niemandhier 2 days ago | parent [-] | | In a friends school in Denmark the teacher could decide that your family had to host a party for all the kids at the family home, so they could get to know each other better, and that was repeated until all involved parties stoped misbehaving. | | |
| ▲ | yetihehe 2 days ago | parent | next [-] | | Good when all parents are able to host such party. I would say that in Poland, most of parents with a misbehaving kid are barely able to throw a party for their kid and several of his/her friends. Many times people complain about the cost of school supplies for their kids already. | | |
| ▲ | niemandhier 2 days ago | parent | next [-] | | I think the cost of doing this as well as the time you need to invest are what puts pressure on you. I’ll have to ask what would happen if you do not comply. The Danish are nice people, but they really do not like if you break the social rules, so I guess it would get intense verry fast. | | |
| ▲ | yetihehe 2 days ago | parent [-] | | > The Danish are nice people Just like I thought. I'm sure your solution would work when majority are nice people. That won't work on people who are from "lower social circles". We still have a lot of them in Poland and don't know how to make them behave better, because trying to make them behave better typically results in defensiveness about their way of life and a lot of excuses about their circumstances. They only dig their heels and start being more aggressive. | | |
| ▲ | niemandhier a day ago | parent [-] | | My experience with humanity is: Most humans are nice people.
Many are also overwhelmed, self absorbed and make excuses. That general observation, for me at least, describes the world from rural Pakistan to backwater Tschechia. The only exception were groups that had a very strong in-group out-group separation. These people always treated me with too much suspicion to express passing kindness. | | |
| ▲ | yetihehe a day ago | parent [-] | | > Most humans are nice people. Many are also overwhelmed, self absorbed and make excuses. I agree, but bullies actually come mostly from that last group. Putting pressure on overwhelmed, self-absorbed or excuse-prone people in order to educate their children better won't work. I think bullying is because of lack of proper emotional education of children, it would be better to educate those parents and children in how to behave and why, but that requires resources most schools won't have and I've never seen anyone actually teaching this in schools. |
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| ▲ | 1718627440 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | Then it is an even bigger deterrent. And maybe it forces people to ask their neighbors for help, which can also improve the social dynamic. People bond over helping each other. |
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| ▲ | aeve890 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | >that was repeated until all involved parties stoped misbehaving. The canning would vastly shorten the time span on which all parties stop misbehaving while the bullying continues. I was bullied as a kid and the school didn't do anything. When my father tried to reason with the bully's family he discovered they were just awful, violent people, bullies, all of them. When he came home, frustrated, he sat me and said something like "uhm, well, ok, listen, I went to talk to the boy's parents and... well... the next time he bothers you just beat the shit out of him. I'll deal with the school" and the quoted the motto of my country: "by reason or by force". Some things just works faster than diplomacy and all shit get sorted out without extending the suffering for most parties involved. |
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| ▲ | NotGMan 7 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| You can never fight against a bully with words. The only real way for a kid in school to stop being bullied is for him to challange or beat up his bully. Nothing else works. |
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| ▲ | jancsika 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | > The only real way for a kid in school to stop being bullied is for him to challange or beat up his bully. Why is this always painted as one individual victim having to fight/challenge their particular bully? I remember a bunch of us kids spontaneously self-organizing in the fifth grade. After an older kid bullied a few kids at recess, a group of ten of us-- most of whom hadn't been bullied, but who obviously could be bullied-- suddenly realized we could walk over to him as a group. He did a double take as we meandered over mumbling to each other about what our intentions were. When we got close, he then looked down nervously at his shoes. We didn't do or say anything to him. After about five seconds, we all dispersed. I don't remember him bullying anyone after that. |
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| ▲ | bitlax 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] |
| This but unironically. |
