"I did the same thing; whoever designed these doors was a sadist." -

"Do you like that bag? I've been meaning to get a new one, I'm so tired of this one." -

"Now see, if we were as good looking/rich/smart as him we could have figured that out." -

"Is that thing broken again? I'm telling you, we're in the wrong business man." -

"Nothing to do with talent, it's a money and equipment problem, we're awesome at this." -

I've used each one of these in the past week with complete strangers, in neutral-to-unfamiliar surroundings, in passing, and the most hostile reaction I've gotten is "hahaha, I know right?" :)