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api 2 hours ago

I can manipulate space-time. Enter the on ramp to the highway and accelerate. I am now aging slightly slower than you are.

I can also manipulate gravity by charging my phone. Since E=mc^2 my phone weighs slightly more when charged.

fragmede 2 hours ago | parent [-]

I've got a time machine! It only goes forwards right now, reverse is currently broken, and it only goes at one second per second right now.

kotaKat an hour ago | parent [-]

Mine's under the seat.

(Futurama: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Ns8EtR7RA)