I'm in a similar position to the OP, unemployed for about 10 months, with tons and tons of applications sent both remote and local, and yeah not sure where this is gonna go or what I'm supposed to do. Also disabled, my eyes don't work so that automatically removes many, many non-software jobs I'd otherwise do from the equation.

Don't even really have anything else to say other than that, but maybe commenting it somewhere helps someone else realize they're not alone. I don't know how that helps you or me, but that's what I got. Maybe there's still something for us somewhere, but it is very difficult to stay motivated, and I don't have an answer.

I'm not in your situation, but I've hit the bottom of the despair and found the inner "fuck it we ball" within me. I don't know what's an option for you, but I'm learning bartending, stocking shelves, and having irresponsible sex with the young women I work with in retail.

I enjoy software development and hopefully one day I will return to it, but I am but one tiny kernel of corn in such a mighty ocean of shit so I might as well right the waves instead of fighting them. Maybe your calling is scamming Indians or scamming Americans or scamming Indian scammers. You aren't alone but the attitude you have will never stop mattering. See if you want to go back to school, start a tutoring program for kids. Motivation is for morons, do something.