> Becomes a 25-hour cycle involving

It's not a cycle. You do it once. One time you wait 24h, and that's it.

Yup, for your first version.

Now, you run it for a while, realize you need to make changes, make those changes and now have a v1.01 to use. Do you know it doesn't require a new install? It likely does, since you are not using the Google Play update mechanism.

And even if they do "allow" automatic updates of the same app without the delay, you really find this delay acceptable?

I'd be ok with a free self-certification of your own app, but forcing a 24hr delay, nope

This is way worse than "you're holding it wrong" — this is bad functionality by intentional design