I'm not terribly concerned about an evil maid entering my room at night and managing to authenticate my fingerprint without waking me.

I do, however, regularly have to check my phone in at [places] and am highly concerned about that.

I'm not interested in bringing about a tech dystopia to combat it, either, but I don't think those are our only two choices.

Threat modeling is important, and selectively false equivalences aren't helping matters, but only add to the theatrics.

I'm pretty sure that most of the actual evil-maids out there are phone owner's partners that they tend to share their bed with at night.

And yes, I don't think those are the only two available choices either. I already mentioned not just one, but two other ones above. They have some tradeoffs, but so does anything. Personally I'd choose a slightly less convenient option over a tech dystopia without second thoughts, but not everyone is tech savvy enough to even recognize the tradeoffs being made, and ultimately in the vast majority of cases it's not the users who make that choice, but Google and Apple.