yeah my mileage is i eat fruit and i get cramps and the squirts for the next two days.

as I've gotten older my ability to consume fruit, onions, garlic and most dairy (and coffee :-( ) has been taken away from me. its really a miserable experience for someone that enjoys eating new and interesting things all the time.

IANAD, but sounds like IBS or similar, not necessarily age-related, and potentially treatable.

Look into the low FODMAP diet.