I think its pretty obvious that "sit on a beach" is a metaphor for being able to do whatever you want not literally sitting on a beach for the rest of your life.

At the same time, you guys really can't imagine relaxing on a beach for more than a few hours? Like i'm not really a beach person but back when i lived near the ocean i spent the odd saturday just unwinding on the beach with a book. Certainly wouldn't want that every day, but y'all acting like it would be impossible to enjoy say abeach vacation for a few days seems crazy to me.

yes, but that didn't prevent the passage from being funny :) it's a rant, being literal about stuff like that is part of its schtick.

(also I could happily relax anywhere for a few hours, but ideally not on a beach because that's uncomfortable)