Separate from performance, I feel like databases are a sub-specialty that has its own cognitive load.

I can use databases just fine, but will never be able to make wise decisions about table layouts, ORMs, migrations, backups, scaling.

I don't understand the culture of "oh we need to use this tool because that's what professionals use" when the team doesn't have the knowledge or discipline to do it right and the scale doesn't justify the complexity.

Hm, I somewhat understand your point of `making wise decisions`. But doesn't that concern all kinds of software development? For me, it does.