> AFAIK, we still don't live in a world where the moneyed class get to set the rules about who is allowed to exist in "real life".

I mean thats just the legal system, its also deciding what is taught in schools, or churches (other religions are available). Currently in the USA there is "tone policing" about trans people. Laws are being put in place to enforce a certain style of living for people who are trans. Regardless of you opinion of trans people, that is very much real life tone policing.

> but whoever was next to you in the theatre does not get to decide what you say in a bar or a PTA meeting.

but the people in the bar/PTA meeting do. In the same way that newspaper decide who to publish, TV which programmes to air, student organisations what cause to adopt, charities what people to fight for.

I think you are saying that one organisation doesn't get to control the patterns and types of speech for an entire country, which is mostly true apart from a authoritarian places.

But, each platform has its own tone, be that X, bluesky, the local darts club, PTA, or church. that tone is enforced by the people who support/take part in that platform. Those rules vary by factions that live on those platforms. The issue with X/bluesky etc is that they make money by deliberately forcing separate factions to engage. If you fall out with your local pub, you find a different pub, and hopefully never see those people again. But that pub is selling you pints, not advertising. so it needs to keep you happy to keep you buying pints.