Jony Ive here. I’ll come back and help make your new keyboard perfectly flat and seamless- touchpad based, and we’ll remove all ports. Bluetooth devices only.

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ryandrake 4 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Alan Dye here. I'm coming back to Apple, and the next versions of the operating systems will not even have visible controls or icons. You just have to click on the beautiful, clear windows and hope you're interacting with the right UI elements.

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schmeichel 4 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Steve Ballmer here, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS!

	▲	topato 3 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS. DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS. WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! also, where is the new version of Visual Basic, Ballmer? Your sweaty chants can only distract me for so long…. Wait….. ITS BEEN TWENTY YEARS!?!?
	▲	a_e_k an hour ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		Cave Johnson here. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers.

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matthewmc3 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Scott Forstall here. I’ll resign before I apologize for the choices we make at Apple. All our research shows you’re gonna love it, and if you say you don’t it’s because you’re wrong, not me.

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dlev_pika 4 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Steve Jobs here, this user is wrong and you are both fired for not realizing this