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| ▲ | bawolff 4 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Do you commonly carry those around with you? I'm not mistaking a resturant for a library, i just want to kill time until my food comes out. Is there a reason why someone sitting by themselves reading a book on the e-reader app on their phone is more offensive than someone sitting by themselves reading a dead tree book? | | |
| ▲ | bluebarbet 3 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | >someone sitting by themselves reading a book on the e-reader app I was this person. Eventually I gave it up because I didn't want to be mistaken for just another screen-addled zombie with no impulse control miserably scrolling Whatsapp and Instagram. Perhaps I have too much self-awareness but I'd argue most people have too little. | | |
| ▲ | bawolff 2 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | > Eventually I gave it up because I didn't want to be mistaken for just another screen-addled zombie with no impulse control miserably scrolling Whatsapp and Instagram. So you gave it up not because you are worried about being a "phone addicted zombie" but because you are worried about being precieved and judged as such? Some would say changing your behaviour due to social insecurity is just another form of being a zombie. | | |
| ▲ | bluebarbet 2 hours ago | parent [-] | | Not sure it would make me a "zombie" exactly but I agree it's an oddly incoherent position to judge the behavior of others while also being concerned about their gaze. Much introspection has not yet pierced this mystery. |
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| ▲ | fc417fc802 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | > ... I didn't want to be mistaken for ... Who cares? They're strangers. If they want to make faulty assumptions and feel an unjustified smug sense of self superiority that's none of my business. At this point I read ~all books on my phone as a simple matter of practicality. I'd prefer my phone had an epaper screen and grayscale page centric apps (instead of scrolling) but that's just not how things are. | | |
| ▲ | bluebarbet 2 hours ago | parent [-] | | >on my phone as a simple matter of practicality Yes, I came to the same conclusion. IIRC I read Great Expectations on the thing! In my case scrollability was a bonus. Horses for courses. |
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| ▲ | Acrobatic_Road 4 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | It's not hard to bring a book with you. People did it before phones. And I don't know what you're doing when you're transfixed by your phone and I'm not going to peer over your screen to find out. | | |
| ▲ | bawolff 2 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | > And I don't know what you're doing when you're transfixed by your phone and I'm not going to peer over your screen to find out. Nor should you, talk about injecting yourself into something that is none of your business. | | | |
| ▲ | fc417fc802 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | You dodged the question. You don't know what he's using his phone for. Fair enough. Is there a reason that privately looking at the screen is offensive while privately looking at a book is not? | | |
| ▲ | Acrobatic_Road 2 hours ago | parent [-] | | It's a more social activity in a world that is increasingly isolated. A book is a nice conversation starter. I'm not going to come up to you and ask about what's on your little screen. Even if you're just reading an e-book the phone contributes to the perceived loneliness of those around you. If you really want to read a book in peace, try a library. | | |
| ▲ | vile_wretch an hour ago | parent | next [-] | | I don't think you're going to have many good conversations if you go around interrupting people trying to read in peace, regardless of where you do it. What a bizarre sentiment. | |
| ▲ | tenacious_tuna an hour ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | > Even if you're just reading an e-book the phone contributes to the perceived loneliness of those around you. This is a wild projection of your own experience onto someone else's actions. > If you really want to read a book in peace, try a library. I've quite enjoyed the times I've taken a book to a restaurant and read over a meal. I do not appreciate you, or people like you, dictating how I ought to act in public in a way that doesn't affect anyone else in the slightest. I don't want to start conversations when I'm alone at a table with my book. The fact that you find it somehow less social for me to be on my phone instead of reading a book when I am minding my own business at my own table seems like a tremendous failure in your own boundaries and expectations of other people. | | |
| ▲ | Acrobatic_Road an hour ago | parent [-] | | >This is a wild projection of your own experience onto someone else's actions. I asked a friend who doesn't use a smartphone about how it feels walking into a room full of people with phones and he told me the same thing. I have a smartphone but I don't take it out reflexively. I don't even consider myself a very social person or an extrovert, yet it always has to be ME to start a conversation in a room full of people because they would rather stare at a screen that say a hello. I'm going to talk to you whether you like it not. If you don't want to talk to people, then maybe don't put yourself in a social setting? Imagine entering a coffee shop and finding it dead silent. I would just go home and make some food. If you have a problem with me talking to you, go ahead tell me how much you don't appreciate it or whatever, I don't care. | | |
| ▲ | bawolff 39 minutes ago | parent [-] | | Maybe this is a cultural difference, but i would generally consider it incredibly rude for a random person to interupt someone trying to enjoy their meal. A resturant isn't a singles mixer. | | |
| ▲ | Acrobatic_Road 27 minutes ago | parent [-] | | Depends on the layout. If its a large, sit-down restaurant with wide gaps between the tables, then yes it would be weird for me to go up to you and say "Hi, Stranger!". But at a coffee shop you might be sitting right next to me. We might even be sitting at the same table waiting for our food. Am I not allowed to talk to the person sitting right next to me? I ordered some food the other day and realized there were no free tables, so I asked a stranger if I could sit at his table and had a conversation with him and his buddy. |
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| ▲ | fc417fc802 an hour ago | parent | prev [-] | | > A book is a nice conversation starter. Do you make a habit of interrupting people who are reading? If so I can just about guarantee that you're "that guy" to the people you're doing that to. | | |
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| ▲ | Mistletoe 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | Or just do what we did before, sit and think. What they call "mindfulness" now and even meditation is what we used to call just being alive. |
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