There needs to be a law that every cloud-based service which has accounts for more than (say) 1% of population, must have a physical service counter presence in every major town staffed by an employee who must be empowered to resolve all account access issues.

Notice how phone carries manage to have a shop in every little strip mall, you're never more than a few miles from the nearest one. Google takes in far more revenue, can easily afford the same. Or they could even just partner with the phone carriers and have a staffed desk in every tmobile/at&t/verizon shop.

Staffed desks would just tell you they need to open a ticket.

No company will give full account unlock control to field employees.

Even the bank teller behind the glass needs to phone their internal fraud dept to unlock accounts.