that disqualifies like 80% of papers lmao

Lol, you're probably not wrong. But have you ever noticed that the most important papers tend to be on the clear and readable side of things? It's as if researchers understand that being understood is important, but deemphasize that when the paper itself isn't important in the first place. (Maybe if they're only publishing to not perish, not being understood is actually a goof thing from their perspective?)