When you say “$50+/plate” are you saying the dinner itself or each dish? Either way, (in the US) that is not considered a particularly expensive meal for an adult taking someone on a date. In 2026 you should expect $100-$200 bill with drinks basically anywhere. Going out to dinner is not cheap. $100 is actually a great deal unless we’re talking chain restaurants.

If you don’t want to spend that every first date, then I would suggest not making dinner the first date. Do something more casual first time around. Bar, coffee/walk, whatever.

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Sohcahtoa82 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Fair question. When I think "$50/plate", I'm thinking $50 for just the dinner main course, not including drinks, appetizer, or dessert.

> Do something more casual first time around. Bar, coffee/walk, whatever.

The problem with that is there are women that will scoff at a man trying to do something casual like coffee, tea, or ice cream for a first date. They want to be wined and dined and treated like a princess right off the bat. They think they're a prize to be won simply by being a woman.

Though I truly believe that most women are not like this. However, some are, and their attitude is probably what keeps them perpetually single.

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Forgeties79 a minute ago | parent | next [-]

If somebody gave me shade for a casual first date before we’ve even met in person that’s not someone I’d want to take on a date anyway. Not even saying they’re wrong or unreasonable, just think that if someone is vocally complaining about that maybe they aren’t for me.

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alistairSH 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

The problem with that is there are women that will scoff at a man trying to do something casual like coffee, tea, or ice cream for a first date.

404 Problems Not Found

If the idea of a causal first date appeals to you, but not to the other party, you probably aren't a good match. Swipe left and find somebody else.

	▲	alex43578 a few seconds ago \| parent [-]
		And if you need a certain amount of money spent on you for a date, just ask for it directly. There’s plenty of men willing to pay, and an upfront arrangement is clearer for everyone.

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Marsymars 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

My reading of the comment wasn't that the problem is that people expect dinner to be $50+/plate, it's that people expect dates to be dinner, and $50+/plate.

The point is really that there's an expectation mismatch around costs that shrinks everyone's pool of daters.

For actual numbers in Canada, the Globe and Mail recently commissioned a survey showing about 47% of singles would not be willing to spend more than 50 CAD (36 usd) on a first date - and that 24% of singles think the man should pay, compared to 0.2% of singles thinking the woman should pay. So you can see the mismatch if you think about the Venn diagrams there.

Source: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article-is-canada-facin...

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mikebenfield 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

You've missed the point. The point is that the women in question demand it. There is no shortage of women on social media ranting about how lazy or cheap men are who want to do coffee or drinks for a first date. Or especially a walk. If you suggest a walk for a first date there's a strong chance you'll never hear from her again.

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alistairSH 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

So, you've saved yourself the time and expense of a shared walk and two cups of coffee. Isn't that a win? Unless you are just looking to get laid, in which case, suck it up and buy dinner, I guess.

	▲	array_key_first 23 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		Yes, but the point is that people are not successful on these apps because of those expectations. A lot of people have sort of let the whole online dating thing go straight to their head. And now, theyd rather die alone than be slightly uncomfortable for a few minutes.

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sapphicsnail an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

Most of the complaints I've seen are about men being rude and aggressive.

I can tell you from experience that it's a lot scarier to date men.