No theoretical life stage partitions are correct. Some are useful.

Every five years, my life and context have changed profoundly in ways I could never have predicted.

I feel like I have lived many lifetimes.

I am not sure how I would measure growing up. I could never stay at one level long enough to get effortlessly good at it. My head is too far into the clouds. The stars are so inviting.

So I experience a lot of in-too-deep pressure, trying not to screw things up while working to achieve more than anyone might think is reasonable. With a regular remedial/recovery interval, after I screw things up.

If I do grow up in any way, it is the accumulation of resilience and loss of fear that repeatedly digging myself out of my own craters provides. I have internalized that nothing can stop me. Nothing at all. Not even me, and that is saying a lot.

This sounds like a quote from Dune. I feel the same.

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