> While all of this is anecdotal, it sure feels like software has become a brittle mess

That may be the case where AI leaks into, but not every software developer uses or depends on AI. So not all software has become more brittle.

Personally I try to avoid any contact with software developers using AI. This may not be possible, but I don't want to waste my own time "interacting" with people who aren't really the ones writing code anymore.