>secret societies like the Oddfellows do

yes and they're all full of suckers. In the best case which is already bad you get a pretentious online night club like Clubhouse, in the worst case you get Epstein's island.

These walled off societies always attract people who are drawn to exclusivity, are run like dystopian island communities or high school cliques and tend to, in a William Gibon 'anti-marketing', way be paradoxically even more vapid.

No you need actual open access and reputation systems. A good blueprint is something like well functioning academic communities. It's a combination of eliminating commercial motives, strict rules, high importance on reputation and correctness, peer review, and arguably also real identities and faces.