If we're talking about standard server RDIMMs with ECC (or the prosumer stuff) the CPU visible ECC (excluding DDR5's on-die ECC) is typically implemented as a sideband value you could ignore if you disabled the correction logic.

I suppose what winds up where is up to the memory controller but (for DDR5) in each BL16 transaction beat you're usually getting 32 bits of data value and 8 bits of ECC (per sub channel). Those ECC bits are usually called check bits CB[7:0] and they accompany the data bits DQ[31:0] .

If you're talking about transactions for LPDDR things are a bit different there, though as that has to be transmitted inband with your data