"You're safe as long as every device on the network you're on is safe" isn't safe.

In theory I should be able to take a modern browser/device over a completely compromised router and either be safe, or have my device tell me "holy shit, something is wrong".

The days of local trust should be long gone by now.

Sure, just super not what I think of when I read the headlines. I read the headlines and I expect the things to be on Shodan.

You are safe until you are a real target. The exploit someone have ready for your safe browser was not used yet in the wild.