> I'm trying to make Instagram be what my parents said Facebook was.

Hell, you're trying to make Instagram be what Instagram used to be. Back in the early (pre-Meta) days, it was just a reverse-chronological feed of the posts from people you followed.

A decent part of why I bailed on Instagram back in 2019 or so was because it had stopped being this for a while (posts reordered, some not even shown, so many ads).

You can still get a chronological feed if you tap the Instagram logo at the top and click "Following"

But you can't turn that mode on as a default, and it essentially kicks you from the normal app hierarchy into a separate barebones screen. I find it's all for naught anyway because my friends have long since stopped making regular posts on Instagram, it's more common to use stories.