The other day I saw a guy on the train looking at pictures he was actively receiving of a topless woman. He was clearly enjoying it, in his own little world, so I leaned over and said “don’t get scammed buddy”.

His anger brewed for a few minutes and he decided he wanted to fight me, so he menacingly stood up. I remained seated and told him to sit down. He ended up grabbing me by the throat, while no-one around did a thing to stop him.

It’s made me think twice about interacting with random people, tits or no tits. But I doubt I’ll learn anything from it and continue with reckless abandon, because life is mundane otherwise.

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pingou 10 hours ago | parent | next [-]

This is quite entertaining and I'm glad there are people like you, but you didn't even think it would be inappropriate to comment on a naked picture that someone receives in a private conversation? I don't even think you were supposed to look at his phone.

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beaker52 10 hours ago | parent [-]

Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone. It doesn’t happen by staring at the floor and minding your own business. Quite the opposite, mostly.

Despite illusions and every misguided attempt, when in public, you’re not actually in an impenetrable little bubble. And when your bubble bursts, you can laugh, or get angry. I recommend choosing laughter because it’s easier on the eyes.

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nindalf 7 hours ago | parent | next [-]

> Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone

Have you? You're dripping with condescension for everyone who's replied to you so far, in addition to the guy in your anecdote. You've asked one person to "fuck off" when they were polite. Do you think closewith or pingou have enjoyed their interaction with you?

Or is your art of talking to people just meant to amuse you and ignore the feelings of others?

By the way, there is a social convention that we refrain from commenting on what's on people's phones even though we can see it. It's considered an invasion of privacy if we do.

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pingou 9 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

I would say mastering the art of talking to anyone includes having a good mental model of what the other person thinks or how they would react.

It can be delightful to be surprised, but if you are surprised all the time then I would say something may be wrong in the way you see the world.

Nowhere did I say that people should mind their own business at all time. You cannot imagine a situation where you shouldn't talk to a person? You feel entitled to look at their phone? Is there no social boundary you respect? You are free to not respect them, but you can't hardly be surprised to experience pushback. Again, I like that people like you exist, I hope I don't come as too aggressive.

	▲	beaker52 7 hours ago \| parent [-]
		I was not interested in his phone until my eyes were drawn to the image of some great big jubbly boobies staring back at me. I’m sure you’ve encountered the phenomenon of noticing something unusual within your line of sight. If you’re going to engage with such content in public with such disregard that others’ gaze may be drawn to it, then you deserve to receive whatever wisdom or drivel may spill from those onlookers lips. And you’re right, there is nothing stopping anyone from talking to me. I accept their intrusion into my space as a peril of being in public. If you climb through my window to speak to me, that is a different matter.

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rafaelero 8 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

I like you.

	▲	beaker52 7 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Wanna get married? (Ah man, I’ve done it again. Please don’t hurt me, for intruding on your personal circumstances with my mouth sounds and finger symbols)

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closewith 9 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

> Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone.

Well, mastering the art of talking to anyone involves being able to initiate a conversation with people of many cultures, in many mental states, in many circumstances.

A master of talking to anyone won't begin with a condescending and invasive comment, as they will recognise that beginning a conversation disrespectfully is unlikely to be received warmly.

	▲	beaker52 7 hours ago \| parent [-]
		You’re being condescending and invading my space, now fuck off. Am I doing it right? No. That’s responding with aggression, to an otherwise placid comment. I posit that you would be better off practicing being less offended and stuck up your own arse, and learning to live a little.

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closewith 10 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Involving yourself by commenting on very personal matters, especially in a smug or condescending manner, is almost guaranteed to end badly.

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beaker52 10 hours ago | parent [-]

Losing one’s temper leads things to end badly.

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closewith 9 hours ago | parent [-]

Losing your temper when a serious boundary has been crossed is natural and expected. It had a positive outcome in that it stopped your bad behaviour immediately.

> He ended up grabbing me by the throat, while no-one around did a thing to stop him.

The bystander effect is real, but you should also take this opportunity for self-reflection, because in this case, you were the person behaving badly who instigated the situation.

> But I doubt I’ll learn anything from it

Yes, unfortunately it seems unlikely you will.

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beaker52 7 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Serious boundary? He put tits in front of my eyes. Am I supposed to remember to keep my eyes pinned to the floor when out in public? What a terrible way you must live.

I’m afraid to say, that if you want a boundary, go home. Otherwise, accept that you’re in public, and people can and will speak to you.

Also, you’ve just justified being violent in response to someone making sounds with their mouth. I bet you’re a calm person to be around, when everyone does what you want.

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awesomeMilou 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

No verbal comment, be it a comment or an actual insult or otherwise, justifies violence and crossing the body threshold. In what world do you live?

	▲	closewith 2 hours ago \| parent [-]
		In the real world, many comments can and will provoke violence. In many cases, it's justifiable. > In what world do you live? In what bubble do you live? Go out into the world and behave like the GP. Your apparent mental model of society will collapse quickly.