I ran ejabberd, later prosody for a while. Eventually I stopped because the contacts went away and it was just not easy enough to set up for ordinary people.

Sad because the idea of running a federated chat service for your family and them having all their contacts there, is great from a data ownership point of view.

Went back to use a mix of WhatsApp, Telegram, Signal and Messenger because apparently there is always some people not wanting to use one or the other service, or only using one of them.

Revive your prosody and set up https://slidge.im/ for Telegram, WhatsApp and Signal. It's not a proper solution I know, but at least you'll keep on using XMPP clients and they'll get better because they will have one more user at least. ;)